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A mini biography? That's what it says right here, but then it says "About You" above it. I suppose the two go hand in hand, but just saying what's happened in my life doesn't really say how it's affected me now does it? It really doesn't, but I'm going to do a short bio of the beginning days and I think it'll serve both purposes well.

Well I suppose it all began right about the time that Manfred Mann's hit song "Maniac" was #1 in the charts here in the US of A. The place was Kaiser Permanente in Anaheim. I shot out of the uterus just like you likely did if you're reading this. Not to say you shot out of the same uterus that I did, that would make us related and if I've never met you I'd be rather bothered. No no, you came from another woman's... I'd imagine you call this woman mother. Not to make any assumptions, maybe you call the woman whose uterus from whence you came a complete bitch and live with a foster family known as the Cortezzes with two z's? Whatever you like, dude, I'll roll how you roll. I'm cool like that. Anyway, back to the bio of things, not the about me's as I am trying to avoid. So I plopped out of the uterus, was slapped in the ass and my vital signs were confirmed. But something wasn't quite right. What was that odd bulge of skin just to the right of my penis and on my thigh? A hernia!? How!? I haven't lifted shit my whole life at this point! It doesn't even matter... it's there! So what's the option? Well there's only one... surgery. That's right, only days old and there's a scalpel at my skin and Manfred Mann was singing about what a dancing maniac he was to many kids in their parents' old Volvos. Some things just never change I suppose.

I hope this is enough to get you to read my journal, I would really like to get to know you you know!

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